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  • Sammy Edwards

Snake Tired of Being Compared to Rotman Students


It’s no secret that programs at UofT are tied to stereotypes: linguistics majors know every letter in the alphabet, engineers get off on painting themselves purple, and IR students love going to the Alps on mommy and daddy's dime. However, one of these stereotypes has been ruining the social life of innocent reptiles. Local cobra Kenneth tells The Boundary that he and his fellow snakes are “ssick and tired” of being compared to Rotman Students.


“I know that I’m a two-faced, remorselessss, sslimy reptile, but that doesn’t mean that I, or all ssnakes for that matter, are Rotman studentss. Treat uss with some resspect,” said a visibly distressed Kenneth.  


Sadly for Kenneth, this preconceived notion about snakes isn’t doing him any favours with the ladies. “You have no idea how many times I’ve been ghossted after telling a girl I’m a ssnake,” he said, holding back tears as a Rotman student sauntered by. “It’s gotten to the point where I jusst lie and ssay I’m an amputated lizard.”


“It’d be nice if people got to know me as Kenneth firsst, ssnake ssecond. But as ssoon as I let my guard down and say ‘Hey, I’m a ssnake’, their brain immediately thinkss: Rotman sstudent. The look of disgusst on their face once they make that connection is frankly too much to bear.”


Photo Credit: iStock

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The Boundary is the University of Toronto's Satire Paper