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  • Robbie Janzen

Student Submits Last-Minute Nut at 11:59



For countless folks across the country, November is a month to test one’s willpower, a month to see how long one can abstain from one of God’s many gifted pleasures. As No-Nut-November looms, UofT students are rushing to submit their final nuts. While most students may try to get it out of the way far in advance, the procrastinating tendencies of a first year English student landed him in a close-call situation on October 31st at 11:59 pm.


“Yeah, it wasn't not the most responsible thing to do,” Johnson admitted to The Boundary, “But sometimes I just get caught up in other assignments and tasks, and I figured I’d be able to crank it out pretty quickly with no problem. Hell, I’d done this plenty of times before, and once the adrenaline kicks in, it’s usually pretty easy.”


As an overachieving first-year, Johnson felt that getting his nut turned in before the November 1st deadline would be no problem. But, like many bright-eyed ingenues at UofT, he was sorely mistaken. “I must have been off my game because nothing was happening for a while. Or maybe it was some sort of mental block. Whatever it was, I was starting to get kinda scared. The only thing worse than not doing it one last time is starting to do it and having to stop halfway through. The whole month would be off to a bad start.” Luckily, at the last possible minute, he completed his task. “I gotta tell you, finally getting it done was the most pride I’ve felt in a while,” he stated.


When asked how he was handling the month of abstinence so far, Johnson proclaimed, “Oh I’m doing just fine. I’m a well-rounded person, so there are many things I can focus on to distract me. Now I have plenty of time to devote energy toward my stamp collecting.” Our Boundary correspondent noted, however, that his right hand was twitching heavily throughout the interview, and at one point, he paused to throw a glass of water in his face.

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