Search
  • Natalie Cader-Beutel

Rotman Backpack Excited to Network With Other Rotman Backpacks



As pandemic restrictions loosen in Ontario, folks are excitedly returning to their favourite pre-distancing activities. Vic students have returned to shaming others for their mainstream music taste face-to-face, Political Science majors are pumped to turn casual get-togethers into uncomfortable arguments about neoliberalism, and Computer Science students are glad their social lives will remain unaffected. But there is potentially no one more excited for in-person events than local Rotman backpack, Rotty.


Rotty, known for his signature “R” patch, tells The Boundary that networking is not only his passion, but also his calling:


“To others, networking may just be a hobby or a pastime. To me, it's everything. It’s like I was manufactured to attend these seemingly pointless Rotman events. My favourite part is meeting other backpacks and pretending I actually want to get to know them beyond connecting with them on LinkedIn. Not to mention there’s usually a few Rotman snakeskin purses that I wouldn’t mind interrupting.”


For Rotty, the most challenging part of the pandemic is that online networking pales in comparison to in-person grovelling––as a backpack, he barely got to go anywhere during quarantine. “I couldn’t even meet up with a New Yorker tote bag at the local Starbucks, let alone make an important connection with a briefcase from TD Bank,” he sobs into his strap. “I need to get back out there and chat up another Rotman backpack stat—before I lose all sense of purpose and my extremely basic small talk skills.”


Many have suffered over the course of this pandemic, but Rotty maintains that the heavy ache of the Rotman backpack has been ignored for far too long. “If there is a Rotman backpack out there that you know and tolerate, lend a back for it to sit on. And, if you can, give it the email address of any bag you know that's working in any field related to anything so the poor backpack can get back to networking.”


Photo Credit: Sammy Edwards & Eram Lee

229 views