• George Faseemo

American Student Contests Both Midterm Results

Midterm exam results have continued to roll in for students all over U of T, including for third year student Jack Simon, who hails from that country south of the border. Simon, who received results for his Psych midterm remarked that his scores were “Totally bogus,” and that the US midterm election results were “more trustworthy than this garbage”.

Simon, a lifelong conspiracy theorist, has insisted that he’ll keep bugging his TA for a regrade until he gets the grades he deserves. But he also noted that he’ll also be contesting the results of the US midterm elections by planning an “orderly visit” to his home state’s capitol building. “Bro, I totally described the ideas of cognitive dissonance and apophenia perfectly in my midterm, they probably just didn’t read it right or something.”

Simon reiterated his belief that the results from this midterm season were “a complete and utter farce”. He concluded by explaining how the broken system we currently have can be fixed: "Profs need to stop counting the obviously fake marks that TA’s are submitting via mail."