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Argument in Retirement Home Mistaken for Presidential Debate


CLEVELAND, OH - The 2020 US Presidential Debates are set up to be the biggest stage for senile perverts since the Oscars, and while many Americans are anxiously awaiting for the opening statements, one broadcasting crew is under fire for confusing a heated argument at a senior’s home with the Presidential debate.“I think it’s an easy enough mistake to make,” explained the recently fired camera operator Gregg Campbell. 


What Campbell believed to be a fierce debate between Donald Trump and Joe Biden was actually a disagreement between an overweight Florida man with a lisp and a Kennedy look alike who’d been left out in the sun too long. Campbell defended his mistake, stating that, “By the time we set up our equipment, they’d been mumbling about ‘the Chinese’ for forty-five minutes, so I figured that gave us only thirty more minutes before they were actually going to start.” 


The incident was met with overwhelming backlash from White House staff, who argued that any activity disrupting the constant flow of media attention to President Trump was essentially electoral fraud.


C-SPAN immediately fired Campbell for his misjudgement and released a public apology. 


Surprisingly, the network learned that the majority of viewers hadn’t noticed the flub at all. Anne Kramer, a viewer from New Hampshire, even remarked, “I was impressed with how civil it was. There were actually fewer slurs than I expected, but a bit more drool.”

 

It remains to be seen whether Trump and Biden will be able to cover as many topics tonight as their retirement home counterparts, but it is certain that both pairs of seniors will need to take an extra-long midday nap to stay awake through the entire debate.


Photo Credit: Wolfgang Eckert


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