Rotman Student Fails Midterm, Becomes Communist

If you've visited Robarts Commons in the last three days, you have likely heard chants of “Down with the corrupt capitalist system!” coming from the second floor. The Boundary spoke to the unlikely student at the center of the protest: a business major. When asked about her introduction to communist ideology, Rotman student Angela Jennings closed the ChatGPT tab summarizing Capital by Karl Marx. “I had a once-in-a-lifetime revelation last Friday afternoon that radicalized me. I have been committed to the communist agenda ever since.” 

The “revelation” in question was a grade posting on Quercus at approximately 3:15 pm Friday for her STA237 Midterm. “I mean, 31%? Seriously? I studied for forty minutes!”  She then went on to explain her ideology. “Capitalism is the root of all evil. It exploits students like me by charging us higher tuition to attend Rotman Commerce without compensating us with a good GPA. I demand justice. The revolution WILL be televised—my dad owns four news networks.” 

Jennings’s roommate Meila Sheti, an English Major at University College, confirmed that the former Reaganomics enthusiast has become a completely different person since the grades were released. “It’s almost like now that the capitalist system isn’t serving her, she no longer sees its use,” Angela said, glancing at the poorly drawn communist flag now pinned to their dormitory door corkboard. “At least I’m no longer roommates with a business major.”

When we reached out to the University of Toronto’s Revolutionary Communist Party over email, they responded that they were not affiliated with Angela and suspect she does not know of their existence.