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Atheist Student Unable to Explain Snow Angels



After years of belittling his family’s faith, second-year Victoria College student and devout atheist Christopher Dennett is stumped. Walking home through Queen’s Park last week, he noticed a peculiar angel shaped imprint in the freshly fallen snow.


Dennett, who abhors Anselm & Aquinas, couldn’t care less about the cosmological proof and refuses to kneel for daily prayer. The student has found himself at an ecclesiastical crossroads.


“I just can’t explain it,” he whines. “I’ve read it all, from Democritus to Darwin to Dawkins, but not a single one of them can explain how this angelic snow formation can exist without a higher power.”


In response to his newfound fear of eternal damnation, Dennett has told The Boundary that he plans to transfer to Emmanuel College, where one can be indoctrinated into seeing the light.


As snow continues to blanket Toronto, it seems unlikely that Dennett will be the city's last snow angel convert of the year. Until scientists are able to definitively explain the source of these mystical phenomena, it is only natural that the best and brightest of the world will be swayed towards belief in the supernatural.


Photo Credit: Sammy Edwards

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The Boundary is the University of Toronto's Satire Paper