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  • Nona Jalali

Breaking: Rat in Dining Hall Not a Halloween Decoration

For a full week preceding October 31st, UC students were in awe of the Halloween spirit engulfing their college. Eyeball candy, plastic pumpkins, and Rotman students were strewn across Howard Ferguson dining hall, setting the scary scene. However, on November 1st, students were met with a horrific revelation: the life-like rats nestled in their dining hall were very much real.

“It was all fun and games until the rat started moving,” recalls third-year student Gregory Hersh. “I thought maybe it was an animatronic, so I picked it up to take the batteries out… long story short, I’ll be the only person on campus who’s gotten COVID and the plague,” he coughed out.

While some students were shocked to find out that rabid, disease-ridden rats were sharing the same space as their food, others had suspicions that the new hairy-looking garnishes on the soup of the day were growing within the dining hall all along:

“Two rats were sleeping in the corner on Wednesday—one of them kinda bigger than the other. By Saturday, there were two normal sized rats and a small one,” said staff member Ali Hashem. “This is the same dining hall that buys strictly bagged eggs, so I figured they weren’t splurging on extra Halloween decorations, ya know?”

As it turns out, the rats have one more (long-lasting) surprise up their sleeve. Second-year rat and UC resident Boromere Fitzpatrick reveals: “Mating season has just begun, baby.”

Photo Credit: Patrick Fraser



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