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Classics Student’s Mom Starting to Look Kinda Cute

After navigating his way through the epic opuses of Homer, Virgil, and Sophocles, second-year Classics Major Jared Morris’s outlook on the world has undergone a notable shift.


“I mean, I never realized it before,” says Jared. “I guess I first noticed during winter break?” Morris had been studying hard for his CLA exam in December, and by the time the holidays rolled around, his head was still submerged in the many scenes of murder, cannibalism, and incest. “And then one day I was just like, Oh… whaddup, mom…



“He’s been acting a bit strange lately,” says Morris’s mother, Barbara. “He gets all nervous when we talk about his classes. I hope it’s not the pressure of school getting to him.”


Morris’s CLA professor, on the other hand, sees no irregularity in the student’s behaviour. “He seems like the average Classics student to me. Big Oedipus fan.”


Photo Credit: The Onion

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