With the month progressing, countless children are no doubt anxiously awaiting Halloween. For many of them, the highlight of the month is going from door to door trick-or-treating before going home and gorging themselves. However, one individual too old to partake has a rather large bone to pick with this beloved tradition.
Second year Econ student Smithson Adams spoke to The Boundary and expressed concern about the supposed message trick-or-treating sends. “Look, I know most people will say that it’s just candy, and it’s no big deal. But when you look at the big picture, what we’re effectively doing is telling them that they can expect to get something for nothing. With that mindset, how are these kids going to feel any incentive to join the workforce? I won’t hear any junk about how these kids are too young to work. Sure, they might put up a fuss, but the boost it would give the economy will be more than worth it. And I mean, how hard can it be for kids to find a job? When I was eight, I was already taking out the garbage at my dad’s hedge fund!”
In terms of how to fix this problem, Adams said the best solution would be to just get rid of trick-or-treating altogether. “If kids want candy, I don’t see why they can’t just go to the store and buy some with their own money. At least that stimulates the economy. If we’re going to have it at all, then we should at least require the kids to display a pay stub at each house they go to.” When asked how to enforce the pay stub rule, Adams muttered incoherently about inflation for 15 minutes before admitting that she wasn’t sure. “That doesn’t mean it wouldn’t work, though!”
Adams further explained that she’s hated trick-or-treating for as long as she could remember. As a child she would stand on his street corner on Halloween and preach against it, only for the other kids to throw rotten vegetables at her year after year. “Unfortunately, most children aren’t interested in capitalism,” she said, shaking her head.
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