First-Year Commuter Student Makes First Friend

Even though socializing can be challenging for freshmen students living off-campus, a recent report finds that first-year commuter Carmen Bentley has just made her first friend. Despite starting school a month ago, she alleges that she has already managed to interact with someone often enough to form a connection.

Unfortunately, further investigation indicates that the friend in question is likely a TTC streetcar operator whose name Bentley does not know. When approached for comment during a shift change at Union Station, they groaned. “Yeah, I don't know her at all. I think I announced something over the passenger intercom or something, and she just started talking to me. She hasn’t stopped since. Even though it’s getting kind of annoying, I honestly feel sorry for her. I think she’s lonely.”

While trying to make friends with The Boundary’s correspondent, Bentley explained the challenges she faces en route to campus. “My commute’s usually 4-15 hours on the train, uphill both ways–and that doesn’t even account for the BMX segment, the active volcano, or catching the streetcar. It makes it pretty hard to meet people. At least it’s productive–I’ve already memorized the name of every station in the GTA.”

Despite these obstacles, she says she’s optimistic about making more friends as the year goes on. “I met three people in one of my classes and even learned their names! I plan to ask them about their majors after next week’s lecture.”

The interview was cut short after Bentley and The Boundary’s correspondent were buried under a heap of bodies following the collapse of sleep-deprived commuters on the streetcar, an event that left Bentley unfazed. “Talk about luck–an impromptu student mixer! Even though my larynx got crushed, I’ve never been closer to other students before, so I’ll take what I can get.”