Giuliani Finally Acknowledges Climate Change After Starting to Melt

Pictured: a frightened and panicked Rudy Giuliani, seen melting during a press conference last Friday. Though many physicists have attributed the cause of this meltdown to the scalding hot water his client was in after several defeats on election-result appeals, Giuliani himself blamed climate change for it: "I never knew things would melt away so easily — the Paris Agreement, the Green New Deal, my petroleum hair salve — anything! HELP!"

Photo Credit: Slate