Graduate Fondly Remembers Last Moment as Student Looking up Chegg Answers
Ava Aslan is a freshly-minted alumna, having just graduated in 2020.
Thinking back to her undergraduate days, the Pharmacology major fondly reminisces on a few of her experiences: sketchy excursions to The Maddy, drunken Papa Ceo’s pizza runs, and countless group study sessions at Robarts. Out of all these treasured memories, Aslan’s last hurrah as an undergraduate remains her greatest pride: a stress-induced Chegg search.
Aslan recalls the exceptionally difficult take-home final exam on which she was completely and utterly unable to solve any of the short answer questions. With only twenty minutes until the submission deadline, Aslan knew she couldn’t answer the remaining fourteen questions on her own. What she proceeded to do next will forever hold a special place in her heart:
“I copy-pasted the exam questions into Chegg, playing some Sufjan Stevens in the background to help calm me down, and with ten minutes to spare, all of my questions were answered. What I experienced next can only be described as a feeling similar to doing a line while paragliding off the top of my guaranteed 100%. It was beautiful.”
Shockingly, Aslan never doubted whether she would be brought forth to the University Tribunal. “My prof is 83 years old and tenured. It took him five months to post an announcement on Quercus—so no, I don’t think he’ll be tracing IP addresses any time soon,” she said with a snicker.
Aslan received 94% on her exam and graduated with a 3.9 GPA. Her deceitful ways have adequately prepared her for an illustrious career in Big Pharma.
Photo Credit: Jeremiah Lawrence