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  • Joseph Strauss

Medieval Studies Student Finally Receives Exam Marks Via Carrier Pigeon



A month has passed since the December exam period, but students’ grades have been returned as slowly as ever. While some students were refreshing ACORN hourly, those enrolled in the Medieval Studies program patiently waited outside their homesteads from dawn till dusk in hopes of sighting Ulric, the grade-delivering Medieval Studies pigeon.


“At last I saw him,” exclaimed Dolfred, a third-year student in the program. “Majestic wings flapping, eyes glinting in the sunlight. I swear to you that you’ve never seen a pigeon so beautiful, so pure.”


Dolfred commented that the scroll bore a “solid” LXXXIII%, yet remarked sadly that the grade was insignificant due to its delayed arrival: “The scroll bore good, yet untimely news, for I’ve now already reached my life expectancy of 20 years."


While Dolfred will be long gone by the time he can acquire a pigeon to fly his marks to graduate schools, his hope is to help U of T professors improve the timeliness of their grading. Professors have taken on this goal, and agreed that the issue can be solved by simply finding faster pigeons.


Photo Credit: Joseph Strauss


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The Boundary is the University of Toronto's Satire Paper