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  • Joseph Strauss

Neuroscience Student Prepares for Biggest Case Study of Year

James Bradley, a U of T student specializing in Neuroscience, eagerly awaits his friends’

Super Bowl party this Sunday. While his pals are out purchasing seven-layer dip and casually racist sports paraphernalia, James claims that his big contribution to the party will be his research.

“Football is a very cerebral sport,” says James, “in the sense that players’ brains are

treated like piñatas.” While his friends cheer during touchdowns and turnovers, James’ focus will be on the inevitable head trauma.

When asked to comment on James’ behaviour, his friend Adam said, “Last year he was

just drawing brain diagrams the whole game. I actually forgot he was there––until he rewound the game to get a second look at some big hit.”

James says that during this year’s championship game, he will not let his friends’

cheering distract him from his observational research. “This is the biggest day of the year for anyone in Neuroscience,” he asserts, “and not a damn thing will stop me from doing what I love.”

Sources close to the story say that James will likely be cut from next year’s guest list.



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