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  • Joseph Strauss

New De-Stressor Needs to be Tended to at All Times


Many students have been finding ways to cope with the mounting stress of final exams during the COVID-19 crisis. Third-year student Tim Green and his family have found their own version of a solution––an adorable Yellow Labrador puppy named Penelope.


“She’s very cute,” said an exhausted-looking Tim, putting down his pooper scooper. “Just gotta train her up a bit.”

Tim has been tuning into doggy-training podcasts now and then to help move along the process. While Penelope has regularly been leaving pees and poops in her crate, Tim remains hopeful that the potty-training regimen will pay off sooner rather than later.

Tim’s mother, Reina, says that before adopting Penelope, there had been a gaping hole in the Green family, who had been constantly bickering amidst their quarantine. 

“Penelope has filled that hole,” says Reina, while spraying their hardwood floor with vinegar to alleviate the smell of fresh doo-doo. 


While the Green family may not have been fully aware of what they were getting themselves into, they have certainly been kept busy by their new bundle of joy––and her impossibly small bladder.


Photo Credit: Joseph Strauss


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