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North Korea Confirms Kim Jong-un “Definitely Alive and Well”



As rumours of Kim Jong-un’s health––and even death––swirl, a popular belief has emerged that the North Korean Supreme Leader is suffering post-surgery complications which pose a grave danger to his health. 


North Korean officials have been quick to respond, however, assuring media outlets globally that “literally nothing is wrong.”

While these assurances were met with initial skepticism, an exclusive Zoom call with the Supreme Leader himself assured Boundary staffers that North Korea’s response was truthful. Kim refused to field questions, or even so much as move, but representatives in Pyongyang maintain that the Supreme Leader’s Wi-Fi has been “pretty weird lately,” and must have been responsible for the apparent glitches. 

“There’s just so much uncertainty in the world right now,” said one North Korean official. “But the fact that our very alive Supreme Leader is still, as I previously said, alive… well, that’s really all that matters.”


The Boundary has contacted TMZ to verify the reports.



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The Boundary is the University of Toronto's Satire Paper