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  • Natalie Cader-Beutel

"Only 3 Years Left!" Says Student Fated to Spend 8 Years on Undergrad

Having handed in her overdue essay last Friday, recent ex-first-year Dani Harris is pumped to be a quarter of the way through her stay at U of T––or so she thinks.

Harris finished off her first year with a stellar 1.95 GPA, almost three completed credits, and a harmful amount of unwarranted confidence. The student tells The Boundary that although her first year was hard, she’s not at all worried about completing her degree on time. “Nothing can be harder than SOC100— it’s all smooth sailing from here!”

Plus, according to Harris, everyone knows that U of T wants all of its students to succeed and that they’ll do everything in their power to help students graduate on time (especially with useful, work-applicable knowledge). “I saw that in a college brochure where a group of smiling freshmen were playing frisbee together on the quad, so it must be true,” Harris remarks.

Still sure of her timely escape from this institution, Harris declares, “I’m totally gonna host an after-party for the 2024 grads in my dope Bay Street condo––you know, since I’ll already be making good money with my Cinema Studies degree,” and adds that she’ll “probably get a couple of awards too.”

Alas, The Boundary, after using our powers of omniscience, can accurately report that Dani Harris will be taking SOC100 again in 2024, then again in 2027, before finally graduating in 2028. Says a future Harris: “Then only two years before I finish my Masters!”

Photo Credit: Ruven Samaraweera



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