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  • Hannah Teather

Recruiter Can’t Believe Nobody Wants $700 Bi-Weekly Remote Online Assistant Job With Flexible Hours


With the cost of living always on the rise, many students worry about how they’ll be able to financially support themselves while keeping up with their education and drug habits. Already overwhelmed by textbook readings, hours of lectures, and essay deadlines, how could your average UofT student manage to find a job when they study full-time?


The Boundary sat down with one recruiter who has been trying to help out UofT students by sending ideal student job opportunities via their UofT email. Eugene Simmons, the head of his company’s recent email campaign aimed at the UofT undergraduate body, recounted his shock that nobody has picked up his job offer, one practically tailored to work with the student routine.


“I mean, come on. It’s $700. Bi-weekly. Remote, with flexible hours. I can’t believe that we aren't getting applications from half of the student body. How could anyone resist?” Simmons complained. “Kids these days are just too scared of the internet. They don’t know how to seize a golden opportunity when it's sitting right in their email! Is it really so suspicious to ask for a couple passwords?”


Simmons gave the following advice to those looking for a way to earn extra cash during the academic year, “Next time we flood your inbox with emails, don’t ignore us. Just because something seems too good to be true doesn’t mean it isn’t real! Give it a chance, and it might change your life. So long as you don’t mind the $1,000 deposit we will be collecting upon employment.”




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