Rich Family Hides Full-Size Razors in Candy Bars
This spooky Monday night, wearing Spirit Halloween’s exclusive new line, children are taking to Toronto’s streets for the yearly tradition of asking neighbours for free stuff. Although kids will accept any grimy little piece of crap you give them, what they’re really hoping for are those premium, full-sized candy bars.
Local child Ryan, who claims he is above average height for his class, has scored big time this Halloween. When he was just about done trick or treating, he hit the jackpot at the really nice house on his street. Instead of the typical one or two mini ones, at this house Ryan’s candy was concealing a full-sized razor blade!
Smiling big through his Spiderman mask, Ryan tells our correspondent about his victory: “My mom said this was the last house and that we were going home soon, even though I wasn’t even tired at all. But I was so happy when I took a big bite into my chocolate bar and found not just the blade, but a full-on razor! This is the best Halloween ever!”
Like any good parent, Ryan’s mom sorted through his candy bag when they got home. “I took extra care this year,” she said, “because I heard kids in the area were getting peanut snacks in their bags. Unacceptable.” After stealing a couple of mini blades for herself, she handed the bag back to Ryan. “That full-size razor really came at a good time, we just hit a row of really lame houses giving out apples and Smarties” she said, “He’s so happy. Now I can just sit back and watch him enjoy it.”
Shelly and John, the well-off owners of the nice house on the street, tell the Boundary that they’re just doing their part for the community. “There’s nothing better than seeing the smiling, freshly-shaved faces on those kids when they take a big bite into a good Gilette,” John said. Happy Halloween everybody, and stay safe out there – peanuts leave that taste in your mouth.