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Artemis Fedorchuk

Situationship Blames Lack of Reply on Canada Post Strike


The holiday season is a source of great anxiety for many, but a Canada Post strike has caused a whole host of new troubles for those partaking in festive consumerism. Be it gifts not arriving on time, more insanity at retail locations, or Hallmark Christmas cards being delayed until February, everyone in the country is totally bummed and ticked off that workers are trying to advocate for better wages and humane treatment in a recession at such an inconvenient hour.

However, Trinity College freshman Michaela Buble is arguably the most affected by this irritating petition for equity. Since the start of the strike, she hasn’t received any texts from David Groll (the Rotman student she’s been talking to and sleeping with for the past seven months who actively avoids labelling their relationship), seemingly out of the blue. When she confronted him at the Buttery, he explained that the mail strike had prevented his messages from being delivered. 

“It’s literally not my fault,” Groll declared, hitting his vape. “She kept trying to tell me that the postal strike only applies to physical deliveries and not texts, so I told her that isn’t true, that it isn’t my fault, that she’s crazy, and maybe her constant hysterical episodes are why I’m having a difficult time committing. I was literally going to send her this letter.”

Strangely enough, the strike does not seem to be affecting Groll’s ability to send drunk DMs to Buble’s roommate, so he must be using FedEx.


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