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Skype Lectures Strongly Opposed by “bigdick69”



Upon viewing Meric Gertler’s announcement cancelling all in-class activities, third-year Human Biology major “bigdick69” spiralled into a deep concern over lecture participation. We have used their Skype username to protect their anonymity.


“The last time I used my Skype account was in Grade 6, so I just don’t remember how to call anyone. And the audio over Skype sucks, we’re forced to listen to garbled nonsense for 3 weeks. This is embarrassing. Definitely not for me. For the school, I mean.”


The student seems to be excessively worried about class engagement through the online platform: “I’m a kinesthetic learner, which means I need hands-on examples to really understand lecture material. Virtual lectures just don’t align with my learning style.”


When reminded that traditional in-class lectures do not incorporate hands-on participation, “bigdick69” changed the topic.


“I actually meant to say that I was an auditory learner. Remember how I said Skype’s audio sucks? Yeah, I can’t retain any information if the sound quality isn’t above 44.1 kHz.”


Upon further investigation, The Boundary has found that “bigdick69” created their Skype account in Grade 5.

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