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  • Sammy Edwards

Student Loses Yet Another Election



With the last week of the school year fast approaching, students are either: scrambling to get ready for finals season, negotiating for their prof to accept a two-month late essay, or cutting their losses and admitting defeat. Unfortunately for third year Poli Sci student Sanjay Roy, even outside of academics he knows this feeling all too well. This week, with a heavy heart, Roy stood in front of his delusional campaign team and sadly conceded a record eighth UofT election in a row.


Roy began his political career at UofT with a simple residence-wide campaign for the coveted Condom Restocker position. Although the "Roy for Rubber Restocker" campaign gained a loyal following among the alliteration-enthusiast crowd, a narrow defeat to upper year Reggie Ribbed foreshadowed Roy's future in campus politics. It didn't matter the scope of the election: UTSU treasurer, VUSAC equity commissioner, Chess Team's Sexiest Player of the Year; Roy's campaigns always resulted in a somber campus tour to take down his hundreds of campaign posters.


Roy's most recent lost election was for UTSU Secretary of Campus Life, despite Roy making several appearances at lecture halls to be photographed kissing a baby. Roy's campaign manager had this to say to the press, "There is no way one student can lose this many stupid campus elections, at this point I'm going to Meric himself to recount the votes by hand."



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