For many U of T students today’s a day for romantic dining, gift giving, and cavity-inducing multicoloured candy hearts. Not so for Tim Turing, a 3rd year Computer Science student who, in spite of his immaculate syntax and record-setting minesweeper runs, is yet to secure an amorous meet-up.
“I can’t comprehend what the problem is” shouts Turing over the deafening whir of his gaming computer’s military-grade fans. “It must be my unmatched C++ skills and employable major which performs the function of intimidating all my hypothetical female companions”
Whatever the reason may be, Turing has developed a surefire way to lock down a date this Valentine’s evening: a visit to his TA’s office hours.
“I have my whole evening programmed: I’ll head over to Bahen with a box of heart shaped chocolates and a ChatGPT generated confession of my love. There are numerous variables to consider: if TA is alone, ask out for a cup of java. If TA makes eye contact, initiate kissing protocol. If TA shows interest in intercourse, quickly pull up the WikiHow page. Else, go home and play Zork.”