- Jonah Wineberg
UofT Student Has Wild Night Fantasizing About Queen’s St. Patty’s Day
St. Patrick’s Day is a festivity famous worldwide for celebrating Irish culture, music, and getting so drunk that you wake up the next morning slathered in pesto sauce on the floor of a Wendy’s bathroom. It’s a day where everyone can get in on the fun, even Terence Haney, a University of Toronto student who had a pretty crazy evening imagining what it's like to be at a St. Patty’s Day party held at Queen’s University.
Haney decided to go all out this March, topping the best events UofT had to offer by simply envisioning being at a university with any sense of a partying scene. “I’m telling you, it was absolutely nuts to think about,” said Haney. “If I visualized Queen’s campus hard enough, it was like I was really there! Dude, I'm drunk already thinking about it again!”
Haney reportedly stayed up all night to celebrate his daydream and went way past his 10:30 bedtime. He also cut loose and took his drinking to the limit, finishing an entire beer he found in his dad’s fridge.
The Boundary’s research indicates that Haney was found to be UofT’s biggest party animal, achieving the highest social-life score out of every student in the school. Terence will surely never forget the things he did this night, as nothing ever actually happened.