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UofT Students More Competitive Than Raptors



As the #1 University in Canada, UofT students pride themselves on being part of an elite institution. However, the same cannot be said for this year’s Toronto Raptors. Having lost three games in a row, the Raptors are unable to make even the 10th seed in a weak Eastern Conference, thus eliminating them from playoff contention for the first time in eight years.


The team has faced various obstacles this year such as a temporary relocation to Florida, a number of injuries and COVID-related absences, and according to one player’s mom, an “embarrassing” lack of studying the scouting reports.


Disgruntled Raptor fans at UofT have voiced their disappointment with the team’s effort. “I literally killed my friend to bump my mark from an A- to an A. The least they could do is get back on defence.”

Even the 2019 championship wasn’t good enough for many UofT students. “They won sixty-seven percent of their playoff games,” says 4.0-GPA-Math student Jonah Harrison. “Sixty-seven percent. No wonder they didn’t want to bring back Kawhi Leonard.”


Many fans are concerned about the players “not trying.” Dr. Michaels, a statistics professor at UofT, remarks that every player sits on the bench at least once per game. “If they were my students and they spent even one percent of their waking hours not studying, they’re on their way to a fail and a transfer to the nearest high school.” Subsequent interviews with dozens of faculty members have confirmed that UofT students who spend less than 15 hours a day on schoolwork would not––just like the Raptors––make it to POSt(season).


Regardless of how the Raptors are perceived, it is worth noting that they’re doing much better than the UofT men’s team, who didn’t even bother to show up to a single game this year.


Photo Credit: NBA

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