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Anne Campbell

Weirdo Pulls Pants All the Way Down to Pee in the Shower



Mark Davis made an alarming discovery about his roommate’s shower peeing habits after accidentally walking in on an unlocked bathroom door. When freshman Luke Ryan pees in the shower, he pulled his pants all the way down. Though Davis was initially disturbed by Ryan’s actions, he realized that it “made sense for a guy like him”. When asked to elaborate, Davis said that Ryan was a “known weirdo”, citing his pastimes of eating wads of pre-chewed gum, catching pigeons with his bare hands, and snarling at strangers.


The Boundary caught up with Davis during his evening scuttle through Philosopher’s Walk. When asked about his odd habit Ryan shrugged and said it was a more efficient way to empty the tank, and he was sure that it would catch on soon. He complained that modern pants have “too many buttons”, and he preferred to just “give ‘em a good yank”. Mid-sentence he caught a pigeon out of midair, bringing the interview to an abrupt halt.


Davis remains a bit unnerved by his discovery. Although he assured The Boundary that another man’s shower habits are no business of his own, he did admit he would feel more comfortable if Ryan just “kept them up like a normal person”. However, he did acquiesce that it was better than Ryan’s previous habit of “marking his territory”, so he couldn’t really complain.


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