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  • Keah Sharma

Overachieving UofT Student Studies for COVID Test


As midterm season ramps up, one UofT student has a different kind of test on her mind. Overachieving third-year Sandra Voitech has been preparing for her upcoming COVID test for weeks, and as the date approaches, Voitech is praying for a positive result. 


The anxious student has done just about everything she can to prepare for the test, from “seriously considering” attending office hours to boasting about getting three hours of sleep every night; Voitech is an expert at simultaneously weakening her immune system and strengthening her sense of academic commitment. She is setting the bar high for try-hards everywhere and plans to arrive at the testing center early to take in all the stuffy, moist energy from the recycled air around her. 


“I’m really looking forward to test day. I just hope that our TAs mark the exams in a timely fashionthere always seems to be a backlog of tests waiting to be graded, which really makes it harder for me to know how I’m doing,” said Voitech. “I was told that if I get negative results, I can’t join the high-achievers’ course study group. They all sit around in a confined, unventilated space, and work for hours on end. No wonder they all get such positive results!”


“We can't wait for things to be back to normal again,” say Voitech’s COVID-positive friends, who spend every weekend going out and standing close together in a wine-guzzling huddle. 


The Boundary wishes Voitech the best for her test, whatever that may be.


Photo Credit: Emory Claire Mitchell

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The Boundary is the University of Toronto's Satire Paper