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Acquaintance ‘From Manitoba’ Refusing to Break Character
Cody Larson, your acquaintance who “swears [he’s] from Brandon, Manitoba” is taking this fake ID thing way too far. According to confused...
Boundary Staff
Dec 19, 2018


Poli-Sci Student Enters Sixth Hour of Playing Devil's Advocate with T.A.
“He’s an absolute madman, I’ve never seen anyone this committed to their point before, it’s pretty commendable.” “You can tell the TA...
Will Stoecker
Dec 17, 2018
Jordan Peterson Refuses to Refer to Portal as Quercus
Peterson, a prominent University of Toronto professor, is refusing to refer to Portal as Quercus, citing radical neo-Marxist oppression.
Peterson Beat Reporter Jack Mageau
Dec 15, 2018


Apt. 200 Bouncer Hired to Maintain Ratio in Robarts Stacks
Timothy DeMaurizio stands huddled in the lobby of Robarts Library awaiting entry to the highly-coveted stacks. It’s 9:48pm and, despite...
Daniel Aykler
Dec 14, 2018


Man Wearing Toque in Tutorial Can Probably Be Ignored
British Columbian comparative biosociology specialist Jason Shreddinski can probably be ignored. This conclusion was deduced not only...
David Conforti
Dec 12, 2018


Eight Easy Ways to Give Yourself a Concussion Before Finals
As finals season approaches, more and more students wish they had a valid excuse to sit out the exams that make or break their GPA....
Nona Jalali and Joseph Strauss
Dec 10, 2018
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