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Butt Dial to Campus Police, Passive-Aggressive Voicemail Reveals Group Has Been on Strike Since 2014
Toronto, ON: Area student Tim Blake unintentionally rang Campus Police on Sunday morning, setting off a verbal firestorm from his iPhone...
Boundary Staff
Mar 25, 2018


Philosophy Department Announces 'Co-Op' Partnership With Aroma Espresso Bar
Toronto, ON: After putting down his complimentary latte and wiping his chocolate-stained hands on a nearby intern, philosophy department...
Boundary Staff
Mar 24, 2018


Unrelenting Pretentious Chatter Leads Gertler to Attach Sound-Cancelling Masks to Every Last Philoso
King’s College Circle: President Meric Gertler promised to personally attach crude, sound-cancelling masks to “every [expletive] last...
Boundary Staff
Mar 20, 2018


Tequila Jack’s Bouncer Stunned by Striking Resemblance Between Patron’s Face and Government Identifi
Toronto, ON: Reports from The Boundary's secondary school correspondent assert that last Saturday, area youth Clint Hiber was admitted...
Boundary Staff
Mar 19, 2018


Strachan Dining Hall 'Soup of the Month' Features Snake Venom, Bones of New College, Woodswo
Toronto, ON: Back by popular demand, Trinity College's premier food supplier has re-introduced their premier dish. The hearty, plebian...
Boundary Staff
Mar 19, 2018


Area Social Justice Warriors Refuel at Fat Bastard Burrito Co. After Fiery 'Anti-Stereotype'
Toronto, ON: Between jaw-stretching bites of a soaking-wet 'Baja Chipotle Chicken' burrito, self-described social justice warrior and...
Boundary Staff
Mar 16, 2018
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