Already under construction, the Circle will remain off-limits, enraging students, staff, and intramural Quidditch stars alike.

Musk, who usually spends his weekends plunging into mounds of gold coins while spreading medical disinformation, is ecstatic about the gig.

Results of a recent study conducted by the school have confirmed what proud Innis students have been telling us for years.

Harris finished off her first year with a stellar 1.95 GPA, almost three complete credits, and a harmful amount of unwarranted confidence.

Ford admitted that the method acting behind his emotional performance was inspired by his own constituents’ tears throughout his leadership.

Hoffman went on to explain that he prefers a more cerebral brand of virus as opposed to “this Michael Bay blockbuster they call a pandemic."