“What more does it mean to be human than to girate with strangers in a grimy attic?”

“Students are going through a lot right now, the last thing we need is to be subjected to another lackluster, morale-lowering season."

"90% of the gear I trade goes directly to the Ivey Business fuckers.”

The memo does not address how the university intends to handle when students go “man down.”

“I used to get shittered with the boys on the regular,” he said, wistfully.

A recent audit estimates that between 5 and 12 members of the boy band will need to be laid off.