"I hope all you pathetic losers enjoy your coal!"

"By Boy George, that same Reid Simmons who was once burning schoolyard children’s masks had magically transformed into a COVID believer..."

Todd is lucky not to taste each ingredient in the “Sour Morrocan-Italian Cheesy Slice” served every month.

“Eventually I got my grades up and I stopped sleeping… so I guess I still managed to become a model UofT student.”

"I was consistently struggling with all the weekly assignments that had anything to do with ‘reading’ or ‘handing in your work’.”

"I never knew things would melt away so easily — the Paris Agreement, the Green New Deal, my petroleum hair salve — anything! HELP!"