"The cults are still running! It’s like Assassin’s Creed with a bunch of Anglican teenagers,” says Snell.

“Poor guy doesn’t know what he signed up for.”

“I have an essay due at midnight and this was just the pick me up I needed! Thanks for caring, U of T!”

Local cobra Kenneth tells The Boundary that he and his fellow snakes are “ssick and tired” of being compared to Rotman Students.

Barrett adds that she is considering switching careers, mentioning opportunities as a sexy sailor, cop, or even an entry-level job as a cat.

Lame learned about body positivity a week ago, and has fully misunderstood it ever since.