“Mum, do you think this mask looks a bit… tight?”

Missing the usual Reading Week shenanigans that take place every Fall? Worry not, for there's a COVID-safe way to get as plastered as you...

“Do you have peace of mind now? Is this what you wanted?

Voitech is an expert at simultaneously weakening her immune system and strengthening her sense of academic commitment.

“Right, Mississauga...yeah, I’ve never heard of it. I just hope it doesn’t spread to the GTA.” 

"I certainly do not want to be anywhere near it, especially without my flamingo floatie."

By lunchtime I was edibles-deep into my daily regimen, and in the evening I hit bowls for frontline workers while everybody else clapped.

We’re ignoring all the other viruses that are out there––everything’s COVID this, COVID that.

"90% of the gear I trade goes directly to the Ivey Business fuckers.”

The memo does not address how the university intends to handle when students go “man down.”

A recent audit estimates that between 5 and 12 members of the boy band will need to be laid off.

Banerjee has resorted to stress-cuffing her stylishly ill-fitting thrifted jeans.

“It helps a lot, talking with the mirror, eight hours a day."

"If I want to pop on over and test drive a dozen vape pens, it should be within my rights as a Canadian to do so."

Other clothing brands such as Ed Hardy and Tapout have also answered the call.

"I wrote a 3,000-word blog post about it."

We should be turning our cheeks to justice.

“This isn’t a fever, bro. It's called a heady.”

"Peace out, it’s been a wild ride.”